A641.7.3.RB – Appreciating Your “Real Self”

           According to Boyatzis and McKee (2005), our real self is a consolidation of the way we regularly act, our experiences, our dreams, visions, beliefs, and values, our social identity, strengths, and weaknesses.  After completing the exercises in Chapter 5, I have learned that the standards that are most important in my life are reasonable, reliable, ethical, loving, and spiritual.  I have always been consistent and competent individual to my family and in the workplace.  At work, as a leader, my direct report and colleagues know that I am an honest and secure to get along with the person.  They know that they can always depend on me to respond to their needs promptly.  Whenever my direct reports commit errors or submit their reports not on a timely manner, as far as I can help it, I make sure that I give them the benefit of the doubt and let them present their case.  As a leader, my colleagues and direct reports respect my moral stands.  Individuals who know me recognize my spiritually and loving spirit.  I always see the good side of anyone that I encounter.

I have maintained and developed more with the standards of reasonableness, reliability, ethics, loving and spirituality.  By consistently practicing and leaving those standards in my life enhanced who I am today.  I am a good daughter to my mother, an excellent mother to my four children, a good sister to my four siblings, a good friend and an excellent wife to my beautiful and loving husband, and an outstanding employee to the company wherever God leads me to.

I have also discovered that my decision-making has always been tied to my personal values.  I have always believed that everybody deserves to be extended the benefit of the doubt.  So, when someone says hurtful things to me or mistreat me, my first instinct is the person must be experiencing some personal issue and is not thinking right.  Some may think that I am just too naïve to see or accept the reality that the individual only plainly does not like me.  For me, I have made a decision always to give someone the benefit of the doubt and be forgiving, regardless. 

Another self-discovery that resulted from this exercise was discovering the protected value that I adhere, to treat every single individual with respect and justly.  Members of the workforce have to be paid accordingly based on their skills, abilities, and experience.  When I was managing an account in a manufacturing industry, I fought very hard for our temporary workers to be paid more than the minimum wage.  Our workers may be uneducated and underprivileged; they were very hardworking individuals who were trying to get paid fairly to pay their bills and afford food.  I refused to settle for what the company was going to pay our workers.  I talked to my temporary employees and gave my word that if they work hard and report to work every day on time that I will fight for their rights and hourly pay rates.  Although not everyone kept our agreement with hard work and reporting to work timely, majority kept their words, and the company was delighted with their productivity rate and performance. 

In the past, as a new leader, my interpretation of team diversity was purely focused on different cultures, norms, beliefs, race, etc.  In due time, I have come to realize that my team can all be Asian, Catholics, etc. but with different talents, expertise, and different leadership styles, I can still say that I have a very diverse team.  A diverse group in a more profound interpretation for me meant a group of individuals with different perspectives, cultures, lifestyle, backgrounds, and life and work experiences.  Leading a diverse team is not a natural process but what I have learned was that if I encourage members of my diverse team that we continuously develop, enhance, and maintain self-awareness, that we can learn more from each other and find out more of who we really are.

Before the beginning of this exercise, I was very sure that I could never compromise the values and beliefs that are most important to me.  Knowing what I value most makes my personal decision-making a lot easier.  Having self-awareness of what I value most and what my personal beliefs are, makes me move towards a solution to my problems instead of running away from my problems.  At work, I understand now that I might have to trade-off some of my protected values to gain the result that is beneficial to my team and my organization as a whole.

References

Boyatzis, R. E., & Akrivou, K. (2006). The ideal self as the driver of intentional change. The

Journal of Management Development, 25(7), 624-642. doi:http://dx.doi.org.ezproxy.libproxy.db.erau.edu/10.1108/02621710610678454

Boyatzis, R. & McKee, A. (2005). Resonant leadership. Boston, MS: Harvard Business School

            Publishing.