A511.3.3.RB.Module 3 – Directive and Supportive Behaviors

           Blanchard (2008) described Directive Behavior and Supportive Behavior as:

·         Directive behavior is the extent to which one engages in one-way of communication; specifying the other individual’s role; telling the individual what needs to do, where, when and how to do it and then oversee the performance.  In simple three words, the directive behavior can be defined as a structure, control, and supervise.

·         Supportive behavior is the extent to which one engages in two-way communication, listen, provide support and encouragement, facilitate interaction, and involve people in decision-making.  In three simple words, supportive behavior can be defined as praise, listen, and facilitate.

          If you are a parent like me, you are familiar with the things we do to keep our keep children safe and making sure that they are on the right pathway to success.  For as long as we can, we have tried our very best to structure our child’s life the way we thought is right for that child.  We try to control every decision and actions they take because we know what is best for our child.  Until one day, we come to a cold realization that we are suffocating that child and the worst, we thought that child how to be very dependent on us, not able to make a wise decision(s) for themselves. 

            Appropriate usage of directive behavior as a parent can be an excellent tool to teach our children how to be responsible and act in a mature way.  My four children grew up knowing that it is okay to commit mistakes but for every mistake, they have learned to accept and face the consequence.  My kids, as they mature, confronted as a result of an error they commit is not a punishment but a learning opportunity not to repeat the same mistake and develop their self-esteem and self-control.  My children grew up in an environment where they can express who they are and what they want in a manner that is acceptable and appropriate.  They are aware that household rules were for everyone’s mutual interest and to develop a good behavior.  Yes, they have the freedom to express their thoughts and convictions, they are at the same time aware that not being home at the appointed time of 11:00 in the evening, they will face a consequence.    

As a parent, I don’t only practice directive parenting, but it is also of utmost importance to practice supportive or democratic parenting.  I made sure that my children feel appreciated when they complete their household tasks and when they do things to help out without being asked.  My kids are the best thing that ever happen to me, and I always make sure that they know by telling them how I appreciate and love them very much every chance I get.  With my busy schedule, there were times that I was not able to answer the phone when they need me, but I have tried my very best always to make sure to get back with them. 

            Resolving conflict is not only a common function of a leader in the workplace.  I have a diverse team with a different culture, belief, and religion.  Conflict within my team was inevitable.  Defining to my team that it is okay to agree to disagree, but we have to take personal differences outside the workplace.  We are all equal, and trust and respectful for each others are significant to the success of our team.  At home, my children disagree and argue all the time, but they know that at the end of the day, conflict cannot exist in our home.  When one cannot persuade the other to see it their way, the other has to let either the matter go or simply leave the room.

            Communication is very important to our relationship.  Whether at work or home.  At work, I have an open door policy with my team.  My team at work and my children know that I will avail myself when they need me.  One time, one of my team members had a personal problem with her husband.  It was very noticeable that she was not 100% present.  I approached her and asked to have lunch with me.  During lunch, I told her that I was concern about her and told her that she can always depend on me.  That was when she burst into tears and blurted out that her sister was very sick.  I assured her that she could take days off whenever necessary to take care of her sister.  Time had passed, and she updates me on her sister’s condition until recently, I have learned that her sister left this world to be with God.  I found a friend in Lydia just for that one act of kindness of asking her out to lunch.

I have learned that it is essential to practice directive and supportive parenting or leadership in balance.  Over-controlling our children’s behavior for fear of finding them committing too much mistake and be hurt will result to our children despising us because they are losing their freedom of becoming who they are.  Over-supporting them will cause too much dependency or giving them too much freedom may cause chaos in your household or workplace due to the absence of consequence and discipline.   

References:

Blanchard, Ken (2008). Situational Leadership. Leadership Excellence; May 2008; 25, 5;

ProQuest Central pg. 19